John 15:1-4

1. I am the true Vine, and My Father is the gardener.

2. He cuts off every branch in Me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

3. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.

4. Remain in Me, and I will remain in you.  No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.  Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me.

Where is God in our list of priorities?  All my life, I grew up in the church.  For as long as I could remember, my Dad was always serving as deacon or some other type of leadership role in our church.  From an early age, I also served in various leadership positions in the church, campus fellowship, and mid-west Chinese youth conference (MCBC).  I thought I was a good Christian.  I did all the right Christian activities–going to prayer meeting, serving in Sunday School, leading children’s worship, etc.

But pretty soon, I found out that God doesn’t answer my prayers in the exact way I had prayed for.  For example, marrying a pastor and experiencing the death of my first child were two major life events where my prayers didn’t match the outcome.  Life didn’t turn out the way I expected.  Though outwardly I looked fine and “spiritual,” inwardly I was a mess.  God had to cut or prune away parts of my life that’s not pleasing to Him or bearing spiritual fruit.

There was a period of time when I was venting much of my anger and frustration on my toddler son Wesley.  I loved him, but I saw so many of my own faults, personality bends, and failures in the character of my son.  I hated that in myself, and I projected my hatred on my son.  Despite warnings from my husband and my babysitter, the only two people who knew what was happening, I couldn’t help myself.  I was powerless to stop, driven by my own perfection.  Finally, God in His mercy intervened, and He hacked away at that part of me, convicting me about my sin and seeing the emotional damage I was causing him.  This had nothing to do with how well I was serving the Lord and appearing like a successful working mom juggling family, career, and ministry.  My conviction from God was so strong that I repented and wept before the Lord for 4 days and nights.  I would get up in the middle of the night and cry, not being able to sleep.  God did the pruning work in my life and transformed my relationship with my son from that time on, for 15 years now.  Last Christmas, he wrote me a card that says how blessed he was to have a mom like me.

God is in the business of transforming lives, changing our old sinful selves to new selves in Christ.  God often uses people in our lives to shape, mold, and prune us.  The people closest to us, our family members, are often the ones that get under our skin.  Our relationships with them reveal how much growing we still need to do.

Lord, continue to transform me into Your image.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

神的大能改變了我

作者：琳達.陳師母     翻譯： 孫頡

約翰福音15:1-4

1我是真葡萄樹，我父是栽培的人。

2凡屬我不結果子的枝子，祂就剪去。凡結果子的，祂就修理乾淨，使枝子結果子更多。

3現在你們因我講給你們的道，已經乾淨了。

4你們要常在我裡面，我也常在裡面。枝子若不常在葡萄樹上，自己就不能結果子。你們若不常在我裡面，也是這樣。

神在我們心中的優先順序是什麼? 我的一生都在教會度過。在我的記憶裡，我父親一直都在教會裡事奉，包括執事及其他教會領袖的職務。年輕的時候，我也帶領教會中不同的事工、校園團契、青少年事工（MCBC- Mid-west Chinese Youth Conference） 等等。那時，我覺得自己是一個不錯的基督徒。所謂‘好’基督徒該做的我都有做， 例如：參加禱告會、教主日學、帶領兒童崇拜等等。

但過了不久，我便發現神並未按照我所禱告的應允我。例如：嫁給一位牧師以及我第一個孩子的過世。這兩件都是我人生中的大事，而它們都不是我向神求的。生命中發生的事，不是我所預期的。雖然在表面上我看起來很好並且很“屬靈”，但內心並非如此。神必須把我生命中不討祂喜悅的事情除去。

有一段時間，當我在面對我年幼的兒子Wesley時，我感到生氣與煩躁。我愛他，但是從他身上我看到許多我自己的缺點。我厭惡我的那些缺點，也將這些厭惡轉移到我對我兒子的感覺上。儘管我的丈夫和孩子的保姆發現了這個問題並提醒我，但我無法幫助我自己解決它。因受我的完美主義所驅使，我無法除去對兒子的厭惡。最後，神憐憫了我，祂令我看到自己的罪，並因這罪造成兒子情緒上的傷害。這與我服事神並盡力在家庭、全職工作和服事中找到平衡並沒有任何關聯。我在神面前的罪很大，在4天4夜中我流著淚向神認罪悔改。那幾天，半夜時我會醒來哭泣，並無法繼續入睡。從那時開始，神恢復我和兒子的關係，至今已15年了。去年聖誕節，兒子寫了一張卡片給我，告訴我，他有我這個媽媽是他很大的祝福。

神能改變生命，並改變老我，使我們成為新造的人。神常會用我們生命中的一些人來塑造修剪我們。往往容易激怒我們的，都是我們最親密的家人。所以，與家人互動的關係顯示了我們在屬靈成長上還有很多路要走.

神啊，求袮繼續改變我，使我更有袮的形象。奉耶穌的名，阿們。