恩言雜誌

Gracious Words

Walk by Faith, Not by Sight

Hi, my name is Timothy Oen, and I grew up in a Christian home and at CGBC. Faith is hard to sell to a kid, but at five years old, my father explained to me the Gospel. He told me all about how Jesus died for my sins on the cross and then resurrected 3 days later. I accepted the Gospel but not truly. Timothy OenAll I really wanted to do was make my Dad happy and hell sounded scary, so I believed I was a Christian. As the years went by, I attended Sunday school and junior worship, but couldn’t care less about what they were teaching me. The only thing I cared about was hanging out with my friends and getting free food. I thought to myself, “God is good, Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins.” Every time I thought about death, I would tell myself I’m going to heaven. The Gospel to me was more of an insurance policy.

Next came in middle school when I started going to TIGS and CBM camp. At first, I only went to these things to hang out with my friends, but God worked through these things for His glory. Gradually, I started learning more and more about what it means to be a Christian and realizing I have much to learn. For example, at my first year of CBM, my counselor asked me questions about the Gospel that I couldn’t answer and I began to be confused whether I really was saved. Was I living my life for earthly things or for God? These experiences began to make me wonder and want to know more about what it means to have true faith. At TIGS, I started paying attention to the messages. Furthermore, as my growth continued, I eventually went to my second CBM camp in the following year. There I asked myself if I wanted Jesus in my heart. I realized I did.

Timothy Oen2 Corinthians 5:7 says, “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” A very simple verse, but is the one that accurately summarized my life. I lived for the simple things that I saw, such as money and friends, and lived my life blindly not having a true understanding of God. Even though God has done so much for me, I still didn’t obey him and sinned, choosing not to walk by faith as the passage says. Realizing the significance of the Gospel was shocking. I saw how bad I am and how I’m doomed to hell without the gift of Jesus. The mercy of God is so great and I do not deserve it, but God loves me that much.

After accepting Jesus into my life I started realizing how hard it was to follow God. I easily got caught up following idols, but now I felt guilt. Many times I questioned if I really was a Christian like I said I was. It felt like I was being torn between worlds, following different masters. As life went on I began to building up my foundation in Christ and learning through experiences how powerful God really was. Going to Mexico, more CBM, and continuous CYF continued to strengthen my walk with Christ. I want to be baptized to symbolize my death to myself and rebirth with Christ, and that I’m unashamed of the Gospel.

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